Author Archives: Ms. Nish

This blog is for the average woman. The everyday woman. The budget friendly woman. The woman who can only spare 40 minutes to get herself ready in the morning. The working woman. The vivacious woman. The woman who wants to be healthy, confident, and beautiful. 

Being young, single, successful, and a black female is hard honey! I never thought it would come to this. I want to share my experiences with you all and get feedback from both men and women.

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Safe Sex

Safe Sex

Yes, I said it, Safe Sex! Don’t be scared to talk about it. It is very important in this day and age. And ladies and gentlemen, if your partner has a problem with discussing safe sex practices, you may want to take a step back.

After a recent episode of the infamous “Love and Hip Hop: Ney York” and an interview of “Peter Gunz” on the Breakfast Club, I found it necessary to write this post. I get it, we all like sex. Some of us love it, but definitely not enough to put our lives on the line. This man willingly admitted to not using condoms with either of the mothers of his children. And why should you trust a man that clearly has cheated on both women?! So it’s obvious to question whether he’s even sleeping with even more women than the two. Let’s be real, it doesn’t matter if that’s the father of your child or mother of your child, you should always use the appropriate protection. Unless you’re married or it’s been proven in writing that you are both “clean” AKA-disease free, then you should choose to wrap it up. Not only that who wants to be a single parent? It’s extremely rough out here with a two parent household, so I wouldn’t be able to imagine doing a 1 parent household.

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Now don’t ya’ll go holding that against me! I am entitled to my own opinions, as are you. But if you are educated than you know that condoms are 99.9% effective when used appropriately against STD’s including the killer - HIV/AIDS! They are also 99.9% effective when used appropriately against getting impregnated as well. But birth control and condoms together are best from preventing pregnancy. In fact, so is abstinence – but that’s a whole separate topic.

Now, just because a woman is on birth control, that does not warrant unprotected sex, because guess what, ladies and gentlemen…You can still get an STD, trust me. If a man/woman has not shown you that they can be monogamous, why would you even have unprotected sex with them?

Let's Talk About It,

Ms. Nish

Chances

Chances

As I sit back and look at the city beneath me, I wonder daily how I ended up here. It started off as a journey and a possibility. Never thought I’d ever leave Chicago, my family, the people I loved the most to move thousands of miles away. Sometimes, I wonder if I made the right decisions in life, then I think about all that I’ve been thru and where I am today and I’m thankful for life, the experiences, and where I am today in life.

Overall, it has been a very interesting journey to say the least. I left Chicago on a whim with a dream to do travel nursing and possibly go back at some point. Here I am over 5 years later and Chicago is just a place of the past. It’ll always be near and dear to me, but I can’t say it’ll ever be my permanent home again. Who knows, if Houston will even be my permanent home. As of right now, it is very permanent however. I’ve made some major moves down here in Houston even with major setbacks. The first year I was here, I was miserable, I hated my job, I missed my family, and I was bored. I was determined to make it work. I changed jobs, started meeting more people, and started to travel. In June of 2012, I decided to look into buying a home because I was tired of paying someone else’s mortgage and living by their rules. Flash forward, August 2012, I had just transferred within my company and a few weeks later found out my grandmother was extremely sick, so I flew back to Chicago wondering if I was making the right decision by staying in Houston – yet again.

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On October 1, 2012, my grandmother passed away. Out of all the death I had experienced up until that point, it was and still is the hardest to think about. December 6, 2012 (my grandmother’s birthday by the way) I closed on my first home and I couldn’t have been prouder of myself. January 10, 2013, I was let go from my job. I was devastated and hurt and my only question to God was, “I know you didn’t bring me this far to let me lose it all?” I was back wondering if I shouldn’t have purchased the home and if I should go back to Chicago.

Fast forward to February 14th, 2013, I was blessed with an even greater job and I learned a valuable lesson…HUMBLE YOURSELF. So I am grateful and will never take anything for granted. Today, I have an amazing career, a beautiful home, and great health. I thank God for bringing me to this place. If I wouldn’t have jumped out on a leap of faith and moved away from Chicago, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I probably wouldn’t own a home or even have such a great career.

 

Sometimes you have to leave what you know instead of being scared or closed-minded to explore this wonderful world.

Loving Life,

Ms. Nish

No Settle Zone

No Settle Zone

First off, let me start off by saying ladies and gentlemen - please DO NOT settle. Consider the first questionable sign as a sign that it may not be meant to be with that particular person.

Two years ago, I found myself settling with a man that I knew from the beginning I did not want to be with. I should have known better at that age, but I was thinking that I wanted to be like everyone else around me. Most of my friends were in serious relationships or married. I was just trying to be in our “in crowd”. There were obvious SIGNS for me, and I should have listened to them. Before I knew it this man had wiggled his way into my life and my space.

All of my friends would say, "He’s so nice and sweet, I’m so happy for you!" While in my mind I was thinking, “You guys must see something that I don’t.” Not even a few months later, I found myself in a situation that no woman should ever be in. This man attempted to physically harm me. Any person that would knowingly - man or woman - attempt to physically harm you, cannot be good for you. Ofcourse this is just my personal opinion, but I’ll never stick around to find out otherwise.

The experience was traumatizing for me. I was both scared and embarrassed to tell anyone until after the situation was over, and it still embarrasses me til this day. From the moment he left my life, I decided that I wanted better and deserved better. I vowed not to settle again. If you legitimately know what you want in a mate, then stand firm on it and do not settle. We all can fall victim to wanting something just because we think it looks “good” on the outside, but it’s more than that. Get to know a person and the type of person that they are before making a final choice like exclusivity or marriage.

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I’ve also learned that it’s super helpful to write down a list of things that you want in a mate, the things that you know you absolutely cannot tolerate, and then identify things that you can compromise on. Sometimes you have to let go of menial things as well. Has anyone else got their list drawn up? I’ve got mine and it’s pretty solid. I won’t be settling again either...

XOXO,

Ms. Nish

Lovers or Friends

Lovers or Friends?

In the words of Usher, Lil John, and Ludacris, “Tell me again, can we be lovers and friends?”

Let’s be honest the only person we as women and men can honestly be lovers and friends with is a potential husband or wife. I’ve tried this game as I’m sure many of you have, and at some point someone gets hurt or their feelings get too involved.

Case and point, a few years ago, I was introduced to a guy through a friend of mine. We started hanging out just to pass by time, we had much in common and what I thought was a cool friendship in the beginning, turned quickly into lovers. After a month of hanging out and just talking, watching movies, getting to know each other, I spent the night and of course one thing led to another. It was addictive at first, at least for him. He told me, he was very surprised and that I was great in bed. It wasn't that I didn’t enjoy it, I just felt like maybe he liked me more than I liked him. Months and months went on and then at some point he told me, he wasn’t worthy to have a woman like me in his life and wasn’t ready for a relationship. I wasn’t hurt or surprised by it though. I told him, I didn’t think we should continue on and that we should just be friends. He asked me, “Are you sure?” I was sure.

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Months later I had a birthday party and invited him as just a friend. He showed up, and during this party he decided to attempt to talk to one of my friend’s sisters. I didn’t pay it any mind at first, until the day after when I got a text from him asking me to ask for her number because he'd lost it. How disgraceful, disrespectful, and disgusting, I thought. He thought I was in the wrong for not giving him her number and I thought he was wrong for attempting to try something with someone I knew personally. Whether we decided to be friends or not, that was wrong on all counts. Did he honestly think that once she found out that he and I had had a sexual relationship in the past, that she would give him the time of day?

Til this day I haven’t spoken to him. So no lovers, no friends, no nothing. The moral of the story you ask? If you think that after you’ve been friends, then lovers, that you can be friends again, you have it all wrong. To make a long story short, it is not smart nor healthy to partake in anything like this. It's definitely a learning experience however, as everything I’ve gone through has been. Usually if we’ve been lovers, I will not be your friend again. I may say "Hello" at a distance, but we will not communicate and I won’t invite you out anywhere with any of my friends. We saw how that played out anyway.

It just is what it is.

-Ms. Nish

Healthy Ideas For Breaking Your Fast

Healthy Ideas For Breaking Your Fast

  Whether we want to believe it or not, breakfast is undoubtedly the most important meal of the day. After all you've been fasting all night long. The first meal that you consume should be healthy, nutritious and beneficial to your body and to the start of your day. breakyourfast

Here is the nutritional make up of a well balanced breakfast:

  1. Protein - Protein is not always found in the form of meat and poultry; for example 0% fat greek yogurt can average up to 20 grams of protein per serving
  2. "Good" Fat - Good fats are commonly found in nuts and sometimes cheese; add a small serving of these to your meal for balance
  3. "Good" Sugar - Good sugars are best found in raw fruits; the rule of thumb is that you can never have 'too many' raw fruits or veggies in your meal(s)
  4. Whole Grain - Whole grains are essential in completing a well balanced meal; for breakfast, add a piece of whole grain toast or whole grain granola to your plate

Whenever you're preparing breakfast, try to keep an item in each category nearby each week. Breakfast truly wakes you up and sets you up for the day! What's your favorite healthy breakfast? ewg

P.S. It's also the secret weapon to steady weight loss 🙂